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padmeonpaper2009-05-08 06:25 pm
padme_kenobi) wrote in padmeonpaper2009-05-08 06:25 pm
Entry tags:
Fic: "To Ignite the Stars" (Star Wars, Obi-Wan/Padmé, 44/?)
Title: Chandrila
Author:padme_kenobi
Previous Chapters: Can be read here.
Characters/Pairings: Obi-Wan/Padmé, others
Word Count: 3,476
Rating: PG
Summary: “Obi-Wan, what’s happening to me? All I can think about is not losing the baby. And I hate to be like that because there’s so much else to care about, so much else to want. But none of that matters to me now.”
Author's Notes: This chapter is a little shorter than the ones I usually post, but we had a bit of trouble during the editing process breaking them up in a way that made sense, and both my beta and I decided this was the best way to do it. No cliffhanger at the end, and things do start to look up a bit for the Kenobi family.
Abruptly Padmé opened her eyes, panting, gasping, slight nausea permeating her throat.
She still wanted to scream, to cry, to grab at her husband and to make him tell her that everything would be all right …
Eshonna! Eshonna! Eshonna!
Her own cries echoed in her ears.
Padmé whipped her head to the right and saw instantly that she was alone in bed, Obi-Wan having departed for parts unknown. Frantically she plunged her hand underneath the sheets and felt around, searching for wetness, expecting at any moment that her fingers would come back tinged with red. But they were clean — pale, but clean. She fell back against her pillows, already exhausted.
A dream. It had only been a dream.
A dream within a dream, yes — and the other elements were already fading — there had been lightsabers, and voices, and more screaming … and the pain, when she’d woken up …
But what if it wasn’t?
What if that had happened?
After all, she could still feel his arms around her, restraining her as Dr. Ti-Lek poked at her arms for a blood sample. Shouting, tears, a horrific scene … and it could have happened … they could have cleaned her up, got rid of all the evidence of her child … and she would never know … goddesses, she would never know …
She took deep breaths, trying to relax, but it was no good. Concern for the baby seemed to have become the focus of her life now, though she could scarcely believe that of herself. What was the matter with her? She used to have other goals, dreams, desires. But now, somehow, the child she was carrying overrode everything. And that wasn’t something she could simply decide to stop; she’d tried. But the fear was always there, always waiting to close cold fingers around her throat.
It had her now. It had her and it wasn’t letting her go.
A door slid open at the far end of the room and Padmé heard her husband’s familiar footsteps. Should she ask him? Would he tell her everything was fine? But how could he, after what had happened? Would he lie to her? Maybe she should be safe and not say anything at all. Bile rose in her throat again as she considered the possibilities.
Obi-Wan slid into the chair at her bedside and reached for her hand. She thought of pulling it back, but at the last minute could not find the energy or the courage to do so.
“Darling?” Obi-Wan said.
She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling sick with fear now as well. Was he about to tell her that her dream had been reality? She couldn’t stand it if that were the case.
He reached over and began to stroke her hair softly. “Padmé, I know you’re awake. What’s the matter?”
She could barely force the words out. “She’s gone, isn’t she?”
“No, the baby is absolutely fine.” Obi-Wan squeezed her hand. “It was only a dream, I promise you. You had a very bad nightmare, that’s all.”
“Nightmare?” The word felt foreign on Padmé’s tongue. “But — but it was so real …”
“Most do seem that way, yes. I’ve had some very frightening dreams, as well you know, and they’re quite realistic. But yours did not happen. It didn’t.”
“Eshonna,” Padmé mumbled.
“That’s what you were shouting,” he nodded. “She was your grandmother, right?”
“Yes, but …” She finally turned to face him, swallowing hard. “She wasn’t my grandmother in the dream, she was the baby. And she was older, and you and she and the twins were on this ship or something and you fought … someone, and she was screaming … and then I thought I woke up.”
“I fought?” His voice was slightly sharper.
“I think it was you.” She struggled to sift through the hazy memories. “You called somebody Darth, and then there was a lot more yelling. I thought I woke up and lost the baby then.”
“It was only a dream,” Obi-Wan soothed.
“I know.” Padmé bit her lip. “Obi-Wan, what’s happening to me? All I can think about is not losing the baby. And I hate to be like that because there’s so much else to care about, so much else to want. But none of that matters to me now.”
“Well, I think it’s perfectly natural,” Obi-Wan said. “You’ve already lost one child, and that was a terrible experience. Of course you don’t want to go through it again.”
“But I wasn’t even this way with the twins! It doesn’t make sense!”
“Didn’t you have more to think about back then?” he asked reasonably. “You were still working in the Senate, which would have provided a healthy distraction.”
“And I was mostly worried about you,” Padmé added, thinking it over. “I was afraid you’d be killed or injured, especially after I found out I was pregnant. I wanted you to see the babies, to know that you were going to be a father.”
“Well, there you are,” Obi-Wan replied, a smile lifting the corners of his mouth. “Now you haven’t much to focus on, except caring for Luke and Leia. All that extra concern needs to go somewhere.”
Padmé sighed as the door slid open again and Leia hurried in, bouncing over to her father and holding out her arms. “Up,” she commanded.
“What do you say?” Obi-Wan quirked an eyebrow in a silent reminder of manners.
“Please,” Leia added dutifully.
Her father smiled and scooped her into his arms, settling her on his lap. “Did you finish your breakfast?” he asked after he’d kissed the top of her head.
“Yep. Hey, Mommy, guess what? Mon made flatcakes!”
“Did she?” Padmé smiled, reaching out to stroke her daughter’s cheek. “How very lucky!”
“Yeah. An’ we’re almost at Chandra. Lily said. And know what?”
“What?”
“She’s teachin’ us a game!” Leia crowed. “It’s hard, but know what?”
Padmé chuckled. “What?”
“It’s got monsters! And one of ’em’s yellow and it has this big stick, and know what the stick is for? To hit other monsters! An’ Luke always wants the yellow monster but I told him he gots to share. An’ then Lily thought we were fighting so she flipped a cubit and guess what?”
Both parents were smiling over the little girl’s head. “What?” Padmé said for the third time.
“I won! So I got the monster,” Leia barreled on. “An’ Luke said it wasn’t fair an’ I said it was, and then I made the monster hit his blue monster an’ he cried, so Lily made us stop. An’ I stuck my tongue out at him and he did it back to me so you know what? Mon made us stand in the corner! It wasn’t fair.” She stuck out her lower lip in a pout.
“Well, I’m sure she had her reasons,” Padmé replied. “She just wants to make sure you both get along, that’s all.”
“But we always do!” Leia protested. Then she furrowed her brow. “’Cept when we don’t.”
Padmé laughed. “Yes, I know.”
“How’s the baby?” Leia asked then.
“She’s fine. I’m feeling a little better today.”
“Luke said you had a bad dream,” Leia informed her mother.
“Did he?” She could sense Obi-Wan looking at her over the top of their daughter’s head, but she chose not to look back. “Well, everyone has bad dreams sometimes, even mommies and daddies … what, Obi-Wan?”
For he had just rolled his eyes skyward. “Well — you’re just like me, darling.”
“What in the galaxy do you mean?” Padmé demanded.
“Downplaying it, telling everyone not to worry and that you’ll be fine, when really I’m sure it must have been a very upsetting event,” he replied.
“Well, I am fine!” she said indignantly. “Look at me, Obi-Wan, I feel better than I have in days. So I’m not going to fuss over a silly dream.”
“Would you say that if she wasn’t in the room?” Obi-Wan asked pointedly.
“Of course I would!” Padmé exclaimed.
He shook his head in fond exasperation. “You are just like me. Get help.”
At that she had to laugh, finally able to see the parallels. Yes, how many times had she chastised her husband for downplaying the severity of his nightmares and the emotional impact they had on him? She supposed he had a point, but she really did feel better. Her husband’s presence helped, and Leia had certainly distracted her. Perhaps Obi-Wan was right, and she didn’t have enough to occupy her.
Leia squirmed suddenly on her father’s lap, twisting to look up at him. “Daddy?”
Obi-Wan leaned down to nuzzle her. “Is this not exciting enough for you, love?”
“Grown-up talk is boring.” Leia made a face.
Both Obi-Wan and Padmé laughed. “I’m sure you’ll think differently when you’re a little older, sweetheart,” Padmé said, reaching out to brush her daughter’s hair back.
“No, I won’t,” Leia said firmly.
“We’ll see,” Obi-Wan smiled.
They spoke quietly for a few more minutes, Leia occasionally contributing her own opinions and stories. She then tugged on her father’s sleeve, drawing his attention away from Padmé.
“Daddy, where’s the fresher?” she asked.
“Oh, did Mon not show you yesterday?” Obi-Wan replied.
“Yeah, but I forget. And I gotta go.”
“All right, come on.” He stood and hefted her into his arms, reaching down to squeeze Padmé’s hand. “I’ll be back, darling. And I’ll check on our arrival time as well.”
“Thank you,” Padmé smiled, squeezing back. “I’ll be fine —”
“Daddy, are you sure you know where the fresher is?” Leia interrupted urgently.
“Yes, Leia, I’m sure,” Obi-Wan said patiently. “We’ll find it, I promise. I’ve been several times, so I’m not going to forget.”
“Okay …” She sounded uncertain, but nevertheless wound her arms around her father’s neck and rested her head on his shoulder.
Padmé watched them leave, a small smile on her face as she leaned back against her pillows. She loved seeing Obi-Wan with the children, how much they adored him and how attached he obviously was to them. He’d let her observe a few of the training sessions, and she could not help but admire how patient Obi-Wan was with Luke and Leia, his level of acceptance of their as-yet-limited abilities and how receptive to their questions he always seemed to be. He never raised his voice and never criticized, even when one of the twins made a mistake. Luke and Leia loved him as their Master just as much as they did when he was acting in the capacity of father. Errors were gently and subtly corrected, and looked upon as a learning experience rather than as an opportunity to punish. Yet he was always pushing the children to test their limits, to experiment, to try new things, and they were only too happy to do so.
Competition between the twins was carefully discouraged, and she had heard her husband explain many times that “winning” and “losing” were not the point of the training. Being young, Luke and Leia naturally tried to play off one another, but Obi-Wan was quick to put a stop to this behaviour whenever it surfaced. The twins were learning, albeit slowly, and he had told Padmé that most competitive impulses would diminish as the children grew older and completed more training.
She wondered how the new baby would fit into all this, and whether he or she would resent the natural partnership the twins shared. Padmé hoped not. She hoped her family could stay together and could be unified. They would need to be in order to stand against the Empire, and to rebuild the Jedi Order and the Republic.
Presently the door slid open and Obi-Wan and Leia reappeared. She was holding his hand and walking alongside him now, chattering away about something.
“Mommy, guess what?” Leia exclaimed, running up to her mother’s beside. “The toilet, in the fresher? It flushed autermaticly! And the sink, it’s so high, Daddy had to hold me up to wash my hands!”
“Wow,” Padmé said, chuckling. “But you have to admit it was probably built for grown-ups.”
“They should make another one for kids,” the girl grumbled. “It’s not fair!”
“I’m sure they didn’t have little ones in mind when they built it, sweetheart,” Padmé replied. “Here, let me see your hands.”
Leia sighed but allowed Obi-Wan to boost her up again, much as he had done at the sink. Padmé grasped first her daughter’s right hand and then her left, checking to make sure she had cleaned them properly — or, as properly as someone who was almost four could. The elder detected no visible signs of dirt, so she allowed her husband to release their daughter with a smile.
“Looks good,” Padmé said. “But you haven’t had a bath in a few days, have you? I’m betting Daddy hasn’t had time for that.”
“No, he hasn’t,” Obi-Wan sighed.
“That’s okay!” Leia blurted out. “Luke an’ I don’t mind!”
Padmé laughed. “I’m sure you don’t, but both of you need baths. We’ll do that when we get to Chandrila.”
“Aww …” complained Leia.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been able to keep up with those sorts of things,” Obi-Wan spoke up. “I haven’t really thought of much else since you became ill, and —”
“And you don’t train us anymore either,” Leia interrupted. “Daddy, when are we gonna play dodge-bolt? It’s soooo funny when Luke gets blasted!”
“Soon, I hope.” Obi-Wan sat again on the chair. “Maybe when we get to Chandrila, which shouldn’t take long. Mon said our estimated time of arrival is one hour from now.”
“And where will we be going?” Padmé asked. “Obviously we can’t land in the capital …”
“No, we’re going directly to Mon’s residence,” explained Obi-Wan. “Apparently she accepted a resignation package rather soon after the Empire’s inception — well, she didn’t so much accept it as she was forced to take it. Evidently Palpatine wanted her out of the way and someone in place who would be more loyal to his policies. But he was willing to give her almost any amount of credits in exchange for her silence, so she purchased a very lovely residence in an otherwise deserted area. It’s got access to medical supplies, communications equipment, almost everything anyone could need. And it’s completely private. No one will know we’re there.”
“That’s good.” Padmé was growing tired, her eyelids heavy. “I’m surprised that Mon would accept silence, though. She was always extremely vocal.”
“She feels she can do more good under the cover of benevolence, I suppose.” Obi-Wan shrugged. “To be perfectly honest, none of that matters to me so long as it’s safe and quiet and we can care for you. Dr. Ti-Lek has been sworn to absolute secrecy, and she won’t be leaving the residence at all until the baby is born.”
“Mmm,” she murmured. One more worry expunged from her mind. Now I can focus solely on the pregnancy, Padmé thought cynically.
“Here, darling, why don’t we leave you to rest,” Obi-Wan said, setting Leia carefully on the floor. “Go find your brother, all right, love?” he addressed his daughter. “See if he wants to play the game with the monsters again. And remember to share.”
Padmé opened her eyes wide, irrationally afraid that her husband would be leaving too. “You don’t have to do that —”
“We don’t want to disturb you, Padmé. Go on, Leia. Run along.”
With one last glance and a smile at her mother, the girl hugged Obi-Wan and skipped from the room, humming under her breath. Padmé turned her gaze quickly to Obi-Wan, drawing up courage as he made to rise from his chair.
“Please.” She reached for his wrist, her fingers just brushing the skin. “Please, if you don’t need to go with her … I don’t want to be …”
Padmé couldn’t quite admit it.
Obi-Wan caught her hand, clasping it between two of his again. “It’s all right, I’m not going anywhere. I just wanted to give you the option in case you did want to sleep.”
“I do.” Her voice had dropped to a whisper. “But I can’t … I can’t be alone. I think too much. I start wondering what will happen, whether this will continue … I can’t do it. I can’t.” Unexpectedly, tears pricked her eyes.
“I know.” Once more he unlocked the bed rail and unfastened his boots, sliding into the bed and pulling her towards him, careful of the fluid lines and other monitoring equipment. “Just relax, darling. Relax.”
She felt suddenly guilty. “I’m keeping you from the kids, from flying the ship …”
Soft fingers played along her cheek and through her hair. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
“But …”
“Mon and Lily will take care of the twins. Mon herself told me to spend as much time with you as I could. And as for the ship … I hate flying.”
She chuckled, knowing that while he might be trying to appear glib, Obi-Wan honestly did detest flying. It had been a contrast between him and Anakin — while Obi-Wan was in all respects a more than competent pilot, his best friend had exceeded him both in skill and desire. Obi-Wan had confessed to her once that he could not understand how Anakin thrived so much on air battles, on the threat that he might be killed at any moment. Fear was not supposed to be part of a Jedi’s emotional makeup, but he would be remiss if he didn’t admit to feeling a prickle of unease every time he stepped into a cockpit.
His fingers were stroking along her back, circling around to the front to draw concentric circles around her navel. The touch was intimate but not provocative, lulling her to rest. Padmé suspected he was also using some trick of the Force to calm her, but she did not comment on this.
“Shhh,” Obi-Wan murmured. “You’re exhausted. Go to sleep.”
Obediently her eyes began to slide closed, but she fumbled for and grasped his hand tightly. “Stay with me.”
“I will. I promise.”
“I love you.”
“I know.”
Finally accepting of the calm that had stolen over her, Padmé settled back against her husband and closed her eyes.
***
They gained Chandrila exactly on schedule, landing directly in Mon’s expansive hangar bay. Obi-Wan was amazed to see that Mon even had a hangar bay, but he supposed that it might serve as an intriguing symbol of how tenuous Palpatine’s control of his Empire really must be, if he was willing to provide Mon with such lavish funds to simply buy her silence. This encouraged him somehow, in a strange way he could not verbalize.
Padmé remained asleep as they settled her in one of the largest bedrooms in the place. Obi-Wan was pleased to note the expansive size of the bed, since while he had not minded being near her in the medical facility, it had been rather a tight squeeze. This way he could sleep beside her, hold her, without needing to be constantly on his guard to avoid tumbling to the floor.
Dr. Ti-Lek administered another dose of anti-nausea medication, and took time to go through the results of Padmé’s blood tests with Obi-Wan. “It’s just as I expected; she is quite malnourished,” the doctor said. “So I will keep her on the fluids and the medicine until she has passed the fourth month, when the nausea should improve. Then we’ll reevaluate whether she is able to keep down adequate food and liquids. The bleeding and cramping she has been experiencing is likely a result of stress, both physical and mental.”
Obi-Wan sighed. “She is very afraid that she will lose the baby, because of what happened to her before.”
The physician nodded. “I understand, but she must avoid stress whenever and wherever possible. How might she feel about bed rest?”
He swallowed. “Complete?”
“Perhaps not complete, but it would really be the easiest way to cut out stress. She could get up and down occasionally to walk around, and to use the refresher, but overall Senator Kenobi ought to remain in bed.”
“Senator ...?” Obi-Wan blinked stupidly.
“Oh!” Dr. Ti-Lek reddened slightly. “Senator Mothma told me that Padmé was a Senator, and married to you, and so naturally I assumed —”
“Never mind, never mind,” Obi-Wan said hastily. Secretly, he was pleased. “For how long would she need to remain in bed?”
“You’re going to hate the answer to that one: it depends. It depends on whether the spotting and cramping cease, and whether she is able to eat and drink normally again. I would also like to see her stress levels subside a little.”
“All right.” He sighed again, running a tired hand over his face. “But I’m sure she isn’t going to like it.”
Author:
padme_kenobiPrevious Chapters: Can be read here.
Characters/Pairings: Obi-Wan/Padmé, others
Word Count: 3,476
Rating: PG
Summary: “Obi-Wan, what’s happening to me? All I can think about is not losing the baby. And I hate to be like that because there’s so much else to care about, so much else to want. But none of that matters to me now.”
Author's Notes: This chapter is a little shorter than the ones I usually post, but we had a bit of trouble during the editing process breaking them up in a way that made sense, and both my beta and I decided this was the best way to do it. No cliffhanger at the end, and things do start to look up a bit for the Kenobi family.
Abruptly Padmé opened her eyes, panting, gasping, slight nausea permeating her throat.
She still wanted to scream, to cry, to grab at her husband and to make him tell her that everything would be all right …
Eshonna! Eshonna! Eshonna!
Her own cries echoed in her ears.
Padmé whipped her head to the right and saw instantly that she was alone in bed, Obi-Wan having departed for parts unknown. Frantically she plunged her hand underneath the sheets and felt around, searching for wetness, expecting at any moment that her fingers would come back tinged with red. But they were clean — pale, but clean. She fell back against her pillows, already exhausted.
A dream. It had only been a dream.
A dream within a dream, yes — and the other elements were already fading — there had been lightsabers, and voices, and more screaming … and the pain, when she’d woken up …
But what if it wasn’t?
What if that had happened?
After all, she could still feel his arms around her, restraining her as Dr. Ti-Lek poked at her arms for a blood sample. Shouting, tears, a horrific scene … and it could have happened … they could have cleaned her up, got rid of all the evidence of her child … and she would never know … goddesses, she would never know …
She took deep breaths, trying to relax, but it was no good. Concern for the baby seemed to have become the focus of her life now, though she could scarcely believe that of herself. What was the matter with her? She used to have other goals, dreams, desires. But now, somehow, the child she was carrying overrode everything. And that wasn’t something she could simply decide to stop; she’d tried. But the fear was always there, always waiting to close cold fingers around her throat.
It had her now. It had her and it wasn’t letting her go.
A door slid open at the far end of the room and Padmé heard her husband’s familiar footsteps. Should she ask him? Would he tell her everything was fine? But how could he, after what had happened? Would he lie to her? Maybe she should be safe and not say anything at all. Bile rose in her throat again as she considered the possibilities.
Obi-Wan slid into the chair at her bedside and reached for her hand. She thought of pulling it back, but at the last minute could not find the energy or the courage to do so.
“Darling?” Obi-Wan said.
She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling sick with fear now as well. Was he about to tell her that her dream had been reality? She couldn’t stand it if that were the case.
He reached over and began to stroke her hair softly. “Padmé, I know you’re awake. What’s the matter?”
She could barely force the words out. “She’s gone, isn’t she?”
“No, the baby is absolutely fine.” Obi-Wan squeezed her hand. “It was only a dream, I promise you. You had a very bad nightmare, that’s all.”
“Nightmare?” The word felt foreign on Padmé’s tongue. “But — but it was so real …”
“Most do seem that way, yes. I’ve had some very frightening dreams, as well you know, and they’re quite realistic. But yours did not happen. It didn’t.”
“Eshonna,” Padmé mumbled.
“That’s what you were shouting,” he nodded. “She was your grandmother, right?”
“Yes, but …” She finally turned to face him, swallowing hard. “She wasn’t my grandmother in the dream, she was the baby. And she was older, and you and she and the twins were on this ship or something and you fought … someone, and she was screaming … and then I thought I woke up.”
“I fought?” His voice was slightly sharper.
“I think it was you.” She struggled to sift through the hazy memories. “You called somebody Darth, and then there was a lot more yelling. I thought I woke up and lost the baby then.”
“It was only a dream,” Obi-Wan soothed.
“I know.” Padmé bit her lip. “Obi-Wan, what’s happening to me? All I can think about is not losing the baby. And I hate to be like that because there’s so much else to care about, so much else to want. But none of that matters to me now.”
“Well, I think it’s perfectly natural,” Obi-Wan said. “You’ve already lost one child, and that was a terrible experience. Of course you don’t want to go through it again.”
“But I wasn’t even this way with the twins! It doesn’t make sense!”
“Didn’t you have more to think about back then?” he asked reasonably. “You were still working in the Senate, which would have provided a healthy distraction.”
“And I was mostly worried about you,” Padmé added, thinking it over. “I was afraid you’d be killed or injured, especially after I found out I was pregnant. I wanted you to see the babies, to know that you were going to be a father.”
“Well, there you are,” Obi-Wan replied, a smile lifting the corners of his mouth. “Now you haven’t much to focus on, except caring for Luke and Leia. All that extra concern needs to go somewhere.”
Padmé sighed as the door slid open again and Leia hurried in, bouncing over to her father and holding out her arms. “Up,” she commanded.
“What do you say?” Obi-Wan quirked an eyebrow in a silent reminder of manners.
“Please,” Leia added dutifully.
Her father smiled and scooped her into his arms, settling her on his lap. “Did you finish your breakfast?” he asked after he’d kissed the top of her head.
“Yep. Hey, Mommy, guess what? Mon made flatcakes!”
“Did she?” Padmé smiled, reaching out to stroke her daughter’s cheek. “How very lucky!”
“Yeah. An’ we’re almost at Chandra. Lily said. And know what?”
“What?”
“She’s teachin’ us a game!” Leia crowed. “It’s hard, but know what?”
Padmé chuckled. “What?”
“It’s got monsters! And one of ’em’s yellow and it has this big stick, and know what the stick is for? To hit other monsters! An’ Luke always wants the yellow monster but I told him he gots to share. An’ then Lily thought we were fighting so she flipped a cubit and guess what?”
Both parents were smiling over the little girl’s head. “What?” Padmé said for the third time.
“I won! So I got the monster,” Leia barreled on. “An’ Luke said it wasn’t fair an’ I said it was, and then I made the monster hit his blue monster an’ he cried, so Lily made us stop. An’ I stuck my tongue out at him and he did it back to me so you know what? Mon made us stand in the corner! It wasn’t fair.” She stuck out her lower lip in a pout.
“Well, I’m sure she had her reasons,” Padmé replied. “She just wants to make sure you both get along, that’s all.”
“But we always do!” Leia protested. Then she furrowed her brow. “’Cept when we don’t.”
Padmé laughed. “Yes, I know.”
“How’s the baby?” Leia asked then.
“She’s fine. I’m feeling a little better today.”
“Luke said you had a bad dream,” Leia informed her mother.
“Did he?” She could sense Obi-Wan looking at her over the top of their daughter’s head, but she chose not to look back. “Well, everyone has bad dreams sometimes, even mommies and daddies … what, Obi-Wan?”
For he had just rolled his eyes skyward. “Well — you’re just like me, darling.”
“What in the galaxy do you mean?” Padmé demanded.
“Downplaying it, telling everyone not to worry and that you’ll be fine, when really I’m sure it must have been a very upsetting event,” he replied.
“Well, I am fine!” she said indignantly. “Look at me, Obi-Wan, I feel better than I have in days. So I’m not going to fuss over a silly dream.”
“Would you say that if she wasn’t in the room?” Obi-Wan asked pointedly.
“Of course I would!” Padmé exclaimed.
He shook his head in fond exasperation. “You are just like me. Get help.”
At that she had to laugh, finally able to see the parallels. Yes, how many times had she chastised her husband for downplaying the severity of his nightmares and the emotional impact they had on him? She supposed he had a point, but she really did feel better. Her husband’s presence helped, and Leia had certainly distracted her. Perhaps Obi-Wan was right, and she didn’t have enough to occupy her.
Leia squirmed suddenly on her father’s lap, twisting to look up at him. “Daddy?”
Obi-Wan leaned down to nuzzle her. “Is this not exciting enough for you, love?”
“Grown-up talk is boring.” Leia made a face.
Both Obi-Wan and Padmé laughed. “I’m sure you’ll think differently when you’re a little older, sweetheart,” Padmé said, reaching out to brush her daughter’s hair back.
“No, I won’t,” Leia said firmly.
“We’ll see,” Obi-Wan smiled.
They spoke quietly for a few more minutes, Leia occasionally contributing her own opinions and stories. She then tugged on her father’s sleeve, drawing his attention away from Padmé.
“Daddy, where’s the fresher?” she asked.
“Oh, did Mon not show you yesterday?” Obi-Wan replied.
“Yeah, but I forget. And I gotta go.”
“All right, come on.” He stood and hefted her into his arms, reaching down to squeeze Padmé’s hand. “I’ll be back, darling. And I’ll check on our arrival time as well.”
“Thank you,” Padmé smiled, squeezing back. “I’ll be fine —”
“Daddy, are you sure you know where the fresher is?” Leia interrupted urgently.
“Yes, Leia, I’m sure,” Obi-Wan said patiently. “We’ll find it, I promise. I’ve been several times, so I’m not going to forget.”
“Okay …” She sounded uncertain, but nevertheless wound her arms around her father’s neck and rested her head on his shoulder.
Padmé watched them leave, a small smile on her face as she leaned back against her pillows. She loved seeing Obi-Wan with the children, how much they adored him and how attached he obviously was to them. He’d let her observe a few of the training sessions, and she could not help but admire how patient Obi-Wan was with Luke and Leia, his level of acceptance of their as-yet-limited abilities and how receptive to their questions he always seemed to be. He never raised his voice and never criticized, even when one of the twins made a mistake. Luke and Leia loved him as their Master just as much as they did when he was acting in the capacity of father. Errors were gently and subtly corrected, and looked upon as a learning experience rather than as an opportunity to punish. Yet he was always pushing the children to test their limits, to experiment, to try new things, and they were only too happy to do so.
Competition between the twins was carefully discouraged, and she had heard her husband explain many times that “winning” and “losing” were not the point of the training. Being young, Luke and Leia naturally tried to play off one another, but Obi-Wan was quick to put a stop to this behaviour whenever it surfaced. The twins were learning, albeit slowly, and he had told Padmé that most competitive impulses would diminish as the children grew older and completed more training.
She wondered how the new baby would fit into all this, and whether he or she would resent the natural partnership the twins shared. Padmé hoped not. She hoped her family could stay together and could be unified. They would need to be in order to stand against the Empire, and to rebuild the Jedi Order and the Republic.
Presently the door slid open and Obi-Wan and Leia reappeared. She was holding his hand and walking alongside him now, chattering away about something.
“Mommy, guess what?” Leia exclaimed, running up to her mother’s beside. “The toilet, in the fresher? It flushed autermaticly! And the sink, it’s so high, Daddy had to hold me up to wash my hands!”
“Wow,” Padmé said, chuckling. “But you have to admit it was probably built for grown-ups.”
“They should make another one for kids,” the girl grumbled. “It’s not fair!”
“I’m sure they didn’t have little ones in mind when they built it, sweetheart,” Padmé replied. “Here, let me see your hands.”
Leia sighed but allowed Obi-Wan to boost her up again, much as he had done at the sink. Padmé grasped first her daughter’s right hand and then her left, checking to make sure she had cleaned them properly — or, as properly as someone who was almost four could. The elder detected no visible signs of dirt, so she allowed her husband to release their daughter with a smile.
“Looks good,” Padmé said. “But you haven’t had a bath in a few days, have you? I’m betting Daddy hasn’t had time for that.”
“No, he hasn’t,” Obi-Wan sighed.
“That’s okay!” Leia blurted out. “Luke an’ I don’t mind!”
Padmé laughed. “I’m sure you don’t, but both of you need baths. We’ll do that when we get to Chandrila.”
“Aww …” complained Leia.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been able to keep up with those sorts of things,” Obi-Wan spoke up. “I haven’t really thought of much else since you became ill, and —”
“And you don’t train us anymore either,” Leia interrupted. “Daddy, when are we gonna play dodge-bolt? It’s soooo funny when Luke gets blasted!”
“Soon, I hope.” Obi-Wan sat again on the chair. “Maybe when we get to Chandrila, which shouldn’t take long. Mon said our estimated time of arrival is one hour from now.”
“And where will we be going?” Padmé asked. “Obviously we can’t land in the capital …”
“No, we’re going directly to Mon’s residence,” explained Obi-Wan. “Apparently she accepted a resignation package rather soon after the Empire’s inception — well, she didn’t so much accept it as she was forced to take it. Evidently Palpatine wanted her out of the way and someone in place who would be more loyal to his policies. But he was willing to give her almost any amount of credits in exchange for her silence, so she purchased a very lovely residence in an otherwise deserted area. It’s got access to medical supplies, communications equipment, almost everything anyone could need. And it’s completely private. No one will know we’re there.”
“That’s good.” Padmé was growing tired, her eyelids heavy. “I’m surprised that Mon would accept silence, though. She was always extremely vocal.”
“She feels she can do more good under the cover of benevolence, I suppose.” Obi-Wan shrugged. “To be perfectly honest, none of that matters to me so long as it’s safe and quiet and we can care for you. Dr. Ti-Lek has been sworn to absolute secrecy, and she won’t be leaving the residence at all until the baby is born.”
“Mmm,” she murmured. One more worry expunged from her mind. Now I can focus solely on the pregnancy, Padmé thought cynically.
“Here, darling, why don’t we leave you to rest,” Obi-Wan said, setting Leia carefully on the floor. “Go find your brother, all right, love?” he addressed his daughter. “See if he wants to play the game with the monsters again. And remember to share.”
Padmé opened her eyes wide, irrationally afraid that her husband would be leaving too. “You don’t have to do that —”
“We don’t want to disturb you, Padmé. Go on, Leia. Run along.”
With one last glance and a smile at her mother, the girl hugged Obi-Wan and skipped from the room, humming under her breath. Padmé turned her gaze quickly to Obi-Wan, drawing up courage as he made to rise from his chair.
“Please.” She reached for his wrist, her fingers just brushing the skin. “Please, if you don’t need to go with her … I don’t want to be …”
Padmé couldn’t quite admit it.
Obi-Wan caught her hand, clasping it between two of his again. “It’s all right, I’m not going anywhere. I just wanted to give you the option in case you did want to sleep.”
“I do.” Her voice had dropped to a whisper. “But I can’t … I can’t be alone. I think too much. I start wondering what will happen, whether this will continue … I can’t do it. I can’t.” Unexpectedly, tears pricked her eyes.
“I know.” Once more he unlocked the bed rail and unfastened his boots, sliding into the bed and pulling her towards him, careful of the fluid lines and other monitoring equipment. “Just relax, darling. Relax.”
She felt suddenly guilty. “I’m keeping you from the kids, from flying the ship …”
Soft fingers played along her cheek and through her hair. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
“But …”
“Mon and Lily will take care of the twins. Mon herself told me to spend as much time with you as I could. And as for the ship … I hate flying.”
She chuckled, knowing that while he might be trying to appear glib, Obi-Wan honestly did detest flying. It had been a contrast between him and Anakin — while Obi-Wan was in all respects a more than competent pilot, his best friend had exceeded him both in skill and desire. Obi-Wan had confessed to her once that he could not understand how Anakin thrived so much on air battles, on the threat that he might be killed at any moment. Fear was not supposed to be part of a Jedi’s emotional makeup, but he would be remiss if he didn’t admit to feeling a prickle of unease every time he stepped into a cockpit.
His fingers were stroking along her back, circling around to the front to draw concentric circles around her navel. The touch was intimate but not provocative, lulling her to rest. Padmé suspected he was also using some trick of the Force to calm her, but she did not comment on this.
“Shhh,” Obi-Wan murmured. “You’re exhausted. Go to sleep.”
Obediently her eyes began to slide closed, but she fumbled for and grasped his hand tightly. “Stay with me.”
“I will. I promise.”
“I love you.”
“I know.”
Finally accepting of the calm that had stolen over her, Padmé settled back against her husband and closed her eyes.
***
They gained Chandrila exactly on schedule, landing directly in Mon’s expansive hangar bay. Obi-Wan was amazed to see that Mon even had a hangar bay, but he supposed that it might serve as an intriguing symbol of how tenuous Palpatine’s control of his Empire really must be, if he was willing to provide Mon with such lavish funds to simply buy her silence. This encouraged him somehow, in a strange way he could not verbalize.
Padmé remained asleep as they settled her in one of the largest bedrooms in the place. Obi-Wan was pleased to note the expansive size of the bed, since while he had not minded being near her in the medical facility, it had been rather a tight squeeze. This way he could sleep beside her, hold her, without needing to be constantly on his guard to avoid tumbling to the floor.
Dr. Ti-Lek administered another dose of anti-nausea medication, and took time to go through the results of Padmé’s blood tests with Obi-Wan. “It’s just as I expected; she is quite malnourished,” the doctor said. “So I will keep her on the fluids and the medicine until she has passed the fourth month, when the nausea should improve. Then we’ll reevaluate whether she is able to keep down adequate food and liquids. The bleeding and cramping she has been experiencing is likely a result of stress, both physical and mental.”
Obi-Wan sighed. “She is very afraid that she will lose the baby, because of what happened to her before.”
The physician nodded. “I understand, but she must avoid stress whenever and wherever possible. How might she feel about bed rest?”
He swallowed. “Complete?”
“Perhaps not complete, but it would really be the easiest way to cut out stress. She could get up and down occasionally to walk around, and to use the refresher, but overall Senator Kenobi ought to remain in bed.”
“Senator ...?” Obi-Wan blinked stupidly.
“Oh!” Dr. Ti-Lek reddened slightly. “Senator Mothma told me that Padmé was a Senator, and married to you, and so naturally I assumed —”
“Never mind, never mind,” Obi-Wan said hastily. Secretly, he was pleased. “For how long would she need to remain in bed?”
“You’re going to hate the answer to that one: it depends. It depends on whether the spotting and cramping cease, and whether she is able to eat and drink normally again. I would also like to see her stress levels subside a little.”
“All right.” He sighed again, running a tired hand over his face. “But I’m sure she isn’t going to like it.”